Friday, March 21, 2008

I'll do it my way.


I like that title. I can hear Frank singing in the background... "myyyyy waaaayyy" I can imagine that those who might read this will think, "what's the girl wanting to do?" Nope, it's about me. You see, I think part of the reason that I get so incredibly hung up on this blogging thing is that I have fear. Yes, tis true. And that fear is related to looking like an idiot or receiving some type of judgement. This is a very old fear, stemming from my childhood, but still. I think I keep wanting to make myself seem perfect or like I've got it all together. When in reality, I'm not and I don't.

So this is the post to just put it out there, that my life is messy. I don't make little perfectly shaped felt gnomes. (Kudos to those who do.) But I did make some gnome puppets out of paper towel rolls, newsprint, masking tape and yard-sale-found acrylic yarn. My daughter is not a strong reader yet, but she loves cartooning. The cartoons are about burps and farts, specifically my burps and farts, but they are her creations and I am quite pleased and proud of them. I have one child. I don't homeschool seven and make homemade meals every night and knit the entire family sweaters. I am a Mrs. Weasely kind of mother... a bit sloppy, my house is crooked (metaphorically speaking - my landlords have kept this house up very well), very compassionate, sometimes a worry-wart, and if I had a pair of magical knitting needles, everyone I know would get a funky Christmas sweater. And we do some really fun shit. Yes, and I swear, sometimes I swear a lot! I am single (well, engaged) and I work full-time. I am a swearing, fearful, fun-loving, let-it-all-out, sometimes organized, often cluttered, multi-tasking, compassionate, laugh-out-loud, queer mom!!!

I don't think anybody really cares about any of this. But in order for me to continue blogging and attempting to make some connections with other homeschooling families, I need to be real. I just might bitch a little bit on here. I am one of those folks who would like to achieve perfection, but in reality achieves "purty good". I recently made a little satchel for my crochet hooks. I love it. I made it with some very pretty blue yarn, but I didn't block it because I was so excited to use it. So, the edges curl. And I didn't want to fuss with a button hole, so I use a big diaper pin. But I love it and it is me.

So, I am going to continue posting because I really want to. I am hoping that I'll make some connections along the way. And sometimes, we are going to seem like "homeschooling fiends" as my friend, Abby puts it. And sometimes we are going to seem a little like the old crazy koot from Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, but he was cool, right?

For those of you who can do it all and still get a near-full-night's sleep, you have my applause! I just don't roll like that. So, in honor of me being real, I am including with this post, a cartoon submitted to me by the girl. It is titled Big Burp. In this cartoon, the girl is doing the burping and I am on the receiving end. Gotta love it!